By Laura Ivanow

My father’s death on April 6th, 2009, somehow caused me to see my behavior for the last 55 years and how I interacted with myself, and others.

I’m eternally thankful to your ministry for your transparency and teaching about the Fathers Love. I would like to have met your husband, Jack, but through his books I feel he’s with me as I read. My father’s death on April 6th, 2009, somehow caused me to see my behavior for the last 55 years and how I interacted with myself, and others. I was devastated when God gave me this revelation. I talked to my pastor. It was very difficult for me to open up to him, but I took a chance. I was telling him that I really didn’t know the Fathers love, even though I’ve read my bible, fasted, and attended bible studies and church. I knew at that point I needed that understanding in my heart. It left me more depressed than before, because he didn’t understand what I was talking about. I haven’t gone back to church since my conversation with him. I really feel God had His own agenda though.

I wondered where to go, so I started researching on the computer, and your web sight came up. I am now reading Experiencing The Father’s Embrace, which I feel is like a bible to me, Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship, and He Loves Me, by Wayne Jacobsen. I also have been in touch with FatherHeart TV web sight, and the Airport in Canada. I believe God was preparing me for such a time as this.

I have been a survivor of physical, sexual, emotional abuse from my parents, and brother. My mother died 10 years ago, before she died, she told me that my father was not my real father, which gave me understanding why he was so distant from me. But I so desperately wanted his love. When I confronted my father, he said it was true that I wasn’t his child, and that my mother when she was pregnant with me tried to abort me by throwing herself off the kitchen cabinet. The doctors told my father the baby was saved. My father didn’t know she was pregnant. She had many affairs during their marriage. I just wanted to share with you a little of my background that I have been healed from.

I’ve been trying to find church in northern N.J. that teaches about the Father’s Heart, and connect with loving, safe, knowledgeable people, who, like your husband, can allow God to impart His love. I want to be able to be free to love, and be loved, and to love others and help others like myself. All I have right now, praise God, are the books from your ministry, and Barry Adams website. I’m in the process of saving to purchase some DVDs from your ministry, so I can soak in it all, over and over. I pray God will impart His Love, and Heart to me. It’s my only desire in life, I know now I am an empty vessel without it. I Thank God for you, I want to get your testimony also, I hope one day one meet you. Please keep me in your prayers, and I will pray for you. I live with my daughter, Deena, and two grandchildren, Olivia, 12 and Zachary, 6. I send my deepest love, and thankfulness, to such a woman of God, plowing way for women as myself to know our Fathers love. I work in the school system as a PCP, dealing with children who have emotional, and learning disabilities because of their home life. It was a blessing to have been able to express my thankfulness to you.

Laura Ivanow